(via pitssseleh)


sirtarantino:

a guy walked into the board room and said

"hi sweetheart if you could fix me up a coffee real quick im meeting with the regional reports manager in like five minutes, thanks darling"

and i just stared at him and coldly said

"i am the regional reports manager"

we are now twenty minutes into this board meeting and i dont think i’ve ever seen a man look so embarrassed and afraid in my whole life

(via codependentbrothers)


(via pizza)



(via teddylewpin)


nativeandnaive:

legendxofxzach:

One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-

You fucking champ

(via you--make--me--brave)


couldvebeenaprincess:

look it’s fine if ur not religious omg it’s 100% ok but once u start telling people that their prayers are worthless, that God isn’t listening, that He is imaginary, that Jesus didn’t exist, that their religious texts are garbage, etc. then you’re a piece of shit shut up

(via grimheaperr)


lotsofsnakes:

thankyouma-am:

Fun fact, not a yawn, popping it’s jaw back together after eating

this is indeed a yawn as he did not eat prior to this gif, as i am his owner

lotsofsnakes:

thankyouma-am:

Fun fact, not a yawn, popping it’s jaw back together after eating

this is indeed a yawn as he did not eat prior to this gif, as i am his owner

(via grimheaperr)


queen-juvia:

this is my favorite thing of the day

(via grimheaperr)


polkanots:

brando-calrissiane:

polkanots:

trends women should avoid 2014: men’s opinions 

I’m sorry, but I would have to disagree with you. Our opinions are nothing more than opinions, you have the choice to listen or disregard them. It is always inevitably ones choice to listen to another.

If you would like to retaliate, I would like to hear what you want to say

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(via lavenderandlilies)


(via sadboiy)


(via grimheaperr)


lmaoalien:

i am the human version of the first piece of bread

(via pizza)